What are you scared of or how do you overcome fear?
When I was 5 years old, my dad took my three brothers and me sledding up to the mountains. Pretty exhausted and complaining we finally made it up that hill. “So, who is the first on the sled?” I heard my dad say. My brothers and I looked at each other with fear in our eyes saying “no way!!!” this is far too steep for us, this is too scary. “I’ll do it”, I heard myself saying.
Oh no, I thought, I didn’t wanted to say nor do this. But now, I said it, and there was no backing out. My dad looked at me quite thrilled and said, “ok then, go”.
I looked down that hill and sat slowly onto the sled, not sure if I was brave enough to actually do this. I was so terribly scared. My brothers didn’t say a word, they were just looking at me as if I was crazy.
No time to think though, my dad gave me a push and off I went down the steepest hill I had ever seen in my young life. I screamed, it was so fast, I lost control of the sled and fell off it, but I had almost made it all the way down – alive.
Wow, I did it, I couldn’t believe it, and my dad was so proud of his little girl.
For this day I was the hero of the family and I enjoyed every second of it.
I did scary stuff
I did a lot of scary things in my life, just to prove to anybody around me that I was fearless and that I could do this. Well, this is how I grew up, I always wanted to be more fearless than my brothers, everything was a competition.
It looked as if I was fearless, but on the inside it was different. Very often I was scared and also very insecure of myself.
I was sixteen when I flew to England to work as an au-pair girl, but I didn’t get along with the family. I got kicked out of their house and stood all alone somewhere in Farnborough, Kent, not knowing what to do next.
There was no way I would have called my parents and asked “what shall I do now?” Or “come and get me please”.
No, I had to figure it out by myself and I did it, I found a new job in London, stayed for almost one year and had a great time.
Scary things are happening all the time
Whatever happens in this world, it can be very scary and overwhelming. And it definitely is not easy to stay positive and fearless all the time. Everybody is confronted to face their fears, some days it is easier to do and some days are not so easy to get through.
But looking ahead, to next week, next month, doing one step after the other, focusing on happy things and finding something what brings you joy will help a lot facing the world in their issues.
How I overcome fear
Looking back there were many times when I was scared, when I had to overcome my fear. These moments made me stronger, gave me an incredible feeling inside that I did it, all alone, nobody helped me. I did it.
What is the strategy?
There is no strategy. But there are things I do to overcome my fear which I feel at this moment:
I always look ahead, trying to picture myself how I am going to feel after I overcome my fear:
- if I don’t do this now, then when?
- what will I miss and what will happen, if I overcome my fear and just do it.
Will people laugh at me, will I get hurt, will I mess up something? Am I going to be in a much worse situation afterwards?
No, I won’t, so just by picturing myself being in a better position after I have done this challenge, helps me to overcome my fear.
Just do it
My friend Monique and her husband Sascha left Germany with their 2 children, one dog and 6 suitcases to start all over again in America. They won a green card, but had no job, house or anything.
They wanted to start new, build their life for themselves and their children here in the US with new perspectives. Now they are working hard for living their dream but I am sure they will make it. Because they want to, they have set a goal for themselves and see that goal every day.
Leave your comfort zone
I met a lot of people who left their comfort zone to try out something new. Yes, it is not easy, but if you want it, if this is your dream, then you have to try it.
Imagine, wondering in 20 years from now and wishing that you would have done this one move, tried this other job or did take this class in school. But you haven’t and now you don’t know what you have missed, and you don’t know where would you be now, if…?
Set goals – start small and do one step after the other.
I often think about my dad and hear him say, “I never flew in an airplane because I was scared. I wish I would have done this when I was younger”. Now it is too late, he died last year.
Looking ahead has helped me a lot in my life, not to focus on the scary things but to focus when I have actually overcome my fear and where I am afterwards. What do you have to lose? Nothing – but you will definitely gain more confidence, even if it doesn’t work out as you wish.
Maybe this is a good strategy for you also?
Or what is your strategy? How do you overcome your fear? Let me hear from you.
10 tips helping you to overcome fear:
- Breath in and out through your nose and focus on something happy
- Visualize yourself being confident and competent
- Use affirmations to control your fear
- Meditate and bring yourself in a calm state of mind
- Journaling – write down what scares you
- Talk to somebody positive, somebody who can give you good advice
- Read a good book on your specific fear
- Take action and face your fears, step by step
- Remember fear is just an imagination and you are not the only one with fears
- Think positive
And don’t forget – your breath can set you free. It helps me to calm myself down and relax. When you are relaxed and positive you are fearless. Then you can do anything!
And if you want to read more, maybe you also enjoy reading: Living your dream
See you at the blog,